Morbid Reflections

FICTION:

Guy1: Dude the letter you asked me to give her totally bombed, she started crying, called me a pervert and said if I ever get near her she will call the cops on me. The worst part was, she said, she hates me.

Me: So, it worked.

Guy1: What?

Me: Precisely. She has to hate you passionately. Then we can convert that passion into love. Remember passion cannot be created nor destroyed but…

Guy1: So. What do I do next?

Me: Do you know who Shah Rukh Khan is?

Guy1: Yes.

Me: Crap. Do you know who Joy Mukherjee is?

Guy1: No.

Me: Excellent. He was like Shah Rukh Khan, but with less epilepsy. In an old movie he goes to this girl who hates her, whips out a knife and says, I will stab this knife into my arm if you don’t stop me and say you love me. If you don’t, I will rip out my heart and throw it at your feet.

Guy1: What happened next?

Me: What do you think? The girl stopped him. They fell in love and got married. Add in about 8 songs and that’s what happened.

Guy1: Cool man. So get a fake knife?

Me: Hell no. This is what makes you an idiot. Fake knife will never bring out the fear and passion in you. She takes one good look at that trembling hand and she is all yours.

Guy1: Thanks bro, you are a life saver.

Guy2: Dude, did you hear what happened to Guy1?

Me: He stabbed himself in the arm?

Guy2: How did you know?

Me: Have you heard of premonition?

Guy2: Is that the girl in Bio-tech first year?

At the hospital.

Me: Did you use a fake knife?

Guy1: Does this wound look fake to you?

Me: Well, Debatable. Anyways, I guess she turned out to be a psycho. How could she stand there and not do anything.

Guy1: She did, she called the cops.

Me: What does that tell you about her?

Guy1: She has the cops’ number on speed dial?

Me: No you idiot. She is not the one for you. There are plenty of fish in the sea and lots of girls on the beach.