Tuesday, August 09, 2011


There has been a lot of talk about how men can be really shallow and insensitive well it goes both ways. I met a girl who is so shallow that she repulsed me as much as her beauty attracted me. The moment I saw her I felt like I was struck with lightning and there was a clap of thunder in my heart but soon enough all that got drenched by the sadness of her prejudice.

My intention was not to bed her. Some women you just want to rip their clothes off and make love like rapid dogs that have a day to live. This was different. I wanted to spend time with her, get lost in her eyes and together make sense of what Bryan Adams keeps singing in his songs. I knew I was getting sappy; I went along for the ride. Wanting a meaningful relationship I drew boundaries in mind of things that I don’t want to speak about and highlighted the ones I wanted to emphasize on without coming off like a douche bag. My strategy was let the girl talk and listen intently.

Whenever I would talk she would give me this look as if everything that’s coming out of my mouth is inconsequential. I was amazed at the level of lucidity that she displayed for a 20 year old. She would tease me if I told her about my ambitions, she wouldn’t believe my achievements. She wouldn’t even consider me smart. I was finding it hard to hold a conversation as she was drifting completely off as if none of these worldly things mattered to her. I thought she was destined to be a saint. Then I made a mistake I let her talk.

Several hours of dating, rather her talking had me exhausted. All she could talk about was her dad and how she has a boyfriend with whom she has a long distance relationship. That would have scared any decent guy away but being me, I decided to pursue thinking that if I am better than that guy I can give her more happiness. I was being selfish and thinking about her happiness also. Tight rope I know. This reminds me of my ex who had given me a T-shirt which read “Morally Impaired”. I wouldn’t completely agree with her, I would say I have subjective morality.

So she would go on and on about her dad and boyfriend while I sit there thinking about Michelangelo’s Sistine chapel and existentialism. I started drifting away so I stopped and asked her to speak about something else. To my complete and utter disbelief she starts talking about shopping and how she hasn’t shopped for a week. She goes on to say she doesn’t really wear all the clothes she buys but still likes buying them. I can hear Tyler Durden in my head screaming “Advertising has us chasing cars and clothes, working jobs we hate so we can buy shit we don't need.” She says she stands in front of a store if she likes something and wouldn’t budge until her stupid boyfriend or her rich Dad doesn’t buy what she likes from there. I’m thinking “if she weren’t so pretty would she be able to get away with it”.

By now I’m pretty sure that all that lucidity was camouflaged stupidity. I ask her whether she knows anything about the world she lives in. Her – “I’m way smarter than you think, ask me anything”. Somebody gives you a loaded gun and bets you a million bucks that you are a bad shot, what would you do? I was caught between existentialism and Michelangelo, I go with Michelangelo. I realize my mistake as I pray that she doesn’t say green color tortoise looking creature who knows martial arts. She has no clue, she doesn’t even know about Teenage mutant ninja turtles. All I can see is stupidity personified in her eyes. Lucidity, I had to be on ecstasy to mistake stupidity for lucidity.

The Last Nail in the Coffin

By now I kind of know that I’m a jackass to have seen only what I wanted to and unknowingly she got the better of me. So final questionnaire of the day, “Do you mingle with people who are below you in the social cadre?” Hell no why would I, was the answer. Lights off.

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