Saturday, February 27, 2010

SWEENEY TODD :Life is like a hair cut you never know what you are going to get. I had a bad hair cut today and being an optimist up until the last moment I kept thinking it’s going to get better. It’s like watching a bad movie, you wait for the twist in the tale and hoping it’s not the twists that you have in mind. The result – “A twisted Hair cut”.

There are different kinds of hair cut blunders; one of them is falling asleep when getting a hair cut. The rhythmic sound of the blades sliding across each other can be quite sleep inducing, especially with all the crappy music playing in the background. This would be less painful if you stick to sleeping on the chair and not dreaming. Imagine this, you are dreaming about yourself getting a haircut and dozing off, while you are sleeping in the chair and dozing off. You dream about the barber cutting off your ears, wake up screaming to find a piece of your ear hanging off the metal blades.

If you thought demon barbers only exist in movies and novels think again for they are dime a dozen where I live. The first kind, are the ones who think they are masters of chiropractic treatments and spine adjustment. They pretend to be cutting your hair and when you least expect it they wrap their hands around your neck and twist it like the ninjas do in the old martial arts movie. If it resulted in death it could have been appreciated. Instead, what you are left with is your spine yanked out of your body and readjusted to fit into your wallet. If you sit down and explain how that hurts and doesn’t really work, he starts blaming you for not sitting still. He also claims to have treated Stephan Hawkings who walked out of his shop on his own two feet. He also goes on to tell me that Christopher Reeves was supposed to be his next customer but he ended up going to his rival and we all know what happened next.

The next kind, are the ones who don’t believe in personal hygiene. Sometimes you don’t doze off at the chair but you fall unconscious due to the foul odor coming from the barber’s arm pits when he raises his arms to cut your hair. You somehow gain consciousness to keep your vanity in check and to keep your beloved ones from being massacred beyond the point of growth. All this, to be beaten back to submission by bad breath.

Finding the right barber is like finding your soul mate. She makes you feel good and look good too. Until then every relationships ends with you having to pay for it some way or the other.

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