Thursday, September 29, 2011

ANOTHER BRICK IN THE WALL: How would you feel if your entire life was mapped out? Everything to the T. The time you wake up in the real life, which is the time when you start understanding your own conscience till your death. Everything. My parents wanted something like that for me. They had planned everything out. I hit 10th standard and get good marks. They make a plan. I was given one option. I knew only one option. Take science. I like Science, but why did I take it? I don’t know. My parents said, smart people take science. How did they know that I was smart? Is it because of my marks? In that case, even a blind donkey with dementia can secure good marks in the Indian Education System. So I may or may not be smart or might even be a donkey.
I’m in 12th standard and everyone says my options are limited to Engineering and Medicine. Why? Smart people are doing it. By now I don’t want to be smart. It seemed like dumb people have more options in life. They are even allowed to draw and paint. Since I’m allegedly smart I’m supposed to memorize a lot of theorems and equations and crack exams. What about all the things I like doing? All the small things that bring you enormous joy like playing football in the rain or cricket on a hot summer’s day. I don’t want to be smart.
This was the moment where I was at the brink of losing it and what pushed me over was the chat I had with my parents. Their plan was set in stone. They had already chosen engineering. They told me “Son you are doing Computer Science Engineering”. What? “Yeah and get good marks”. Then What? “Get into a software company”. Then What? “You should get married”. Then What? “You should have kids”. Then What? “Don’t be stupid you will be leading a good life”. I guess then I die. That’s when I realized ever since my birth everything was planned out. I lost my mind. I wanted to cut short the arduous journey to death by a single GSW to the temple. I decided to do a complete U-turn instead. I screwed my life up. My life became a 2 million piece jig saw puzzle that has been scattered around the cosmos. Now I’m in the fun part of putting it all back piece by piece the way I want it. There are no more rules. I intent to stack them together vertically with super glue and call it’s done.
My life has started its metamorphosis into a beautiful art work. As they say, there is nothing called a bad art work as long as it invokes some emotional response from someone. I can proudly say I have lived a very fascinating life.
Don’t plan everything. Enjoy Life’s surprises they have a way of spicing up things. 

 
meditation
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