Friday, March 19, 2010

SAYINGS: I’m the kind of guy who likes to read billboards and things written on the walls even if it asks me to go home and try to have an intercourse with myself. This rant is for all the women out there who wear these smart t shirts and think I’m staring at their boobs. Well,I’m not. I’m trying to read the so called smart quotes on your t-shirt. If you really know me then you would also know that I’m a butt man, unless you have boobs like Sophia Vergara (to all the guys, google it). If you do then they have to be fake and I don’t like fake ones and trust me, guys can make out the real ones from the fake ones so
don’t even try. Now coming to all the crap on your t-shirt. We expect to read
something smart not stupid. No “Fish fuck in water so don’t drink water”. That’s just disappointing and it exposes the kind of humor that you like. Besides it’s not even worth getting a slap for reading that from a hot chick no matter how kinky you are. If you really want to make my life hard get something on your butt. I wouldn’t know whether to read or to look. It might send me into an epileptic fit. But again you wouldn’t know whether I’m looking or reading. If I have a smile on my face then I’m probably looking given that you have a good butt, else I’m disappointed at your butt or I’m disappointed at the saying. This is quite complicated. So next time you are wearing pants with sayings on them google “Keyra Augustina”.(Guys, If you haven’t seen it, you guys are idiots and need to google it right now). I'd give her a hundred out of ten. If you still think you want to wear those pants then you deserve to wear them. The whole t-shirt thing can backfire if you really want to attract some good looking guys. I will explain how. There is this friend of mine who gets a panic attack whenever he enters a bookstore. His face turns red and we drag him outside so that a stray dog can perform CPR on him. If all girls start wearing t-shirts with sayings he might turn gay or kill himself and ninety percent of all men I know are allergic to books. Actually this whole thing can work in my favor. With ninety percent of all men gone my odds look much better. So to all the women who read this, forget about it as a bad dream.

Contibutions by Jagadish Puttaraju

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