Sunday, January 18, 2009

EC-32: Time can’t be measured.

It’s all relative.

Maybe what I’m writing here is fiction in its purest form. Fragments of my imagination delivered at one bit per nano second.

It’s all crazy.

If it can’t be measured can we somehow reach the speed of light? Einstein proved that it can’t be done. Actually he proved that matter can’t accelerate to those speeds. You are thinking early signs of Alzheimer’s. I’m thinking the same.

Underwear inside. Check.

Pants outside. Check.

Super heroes were our models when we were young. You really should be ashamed of yourself. My theory is maybe we can slow things down. We can’t reach the speed of light but somehow we can slow it down.

Q 1. a) What are the benefits of slowing down time?

Answer: The benefits are as follows –

1. One can analyse each and every word that is emitting from the subjects mouth. Every expression can be watched, registered , computed and the output is stored in the main memory of the central processing unit.

2. In the situation of a social gathering of human subjects, the above mentioned experiment is conducive in obtaining a liquid which quenches thirst made by one of the capitalistic giants before others in the test enclosure can reach for it.

3. Oxygen is a requirement for combustion to take place. Filters in bikes provide air (containing Oxygen) for internal combustion to take place. Cigarette also burns with the help of Oxygen. Internal combustion of the soul. Smoked heart soup definitely not for the faint hearted.

The above statement holds good because the slowness of time gives you enough time to grab the poisonous concoction and put it to your lips.

4. The smoked filled atmosphere when slowed down can resemble a cloud cover

over the newly bought computer. The new age parents, fitness trainer, companion on lonely nights. The cloud cover and the halo are essential and can be viewed only when time is slowed down by 82.38% (all other values are considered ideal)

Slowing down time is a dream for anyone addicted to speed. Acceleration is the elixir but the feeling of time slowing down at whim after crossing 100 miles per hour feels almost spiritual.

Slow can be exciting but what about absolute control over time? Time and space when together seem rather far fetched. For now we just stick to time. Freeze it. All movements stopped. Silence engulfing the space around you. Pervert’s dream and a Saint’s destiny. Different things mean different for different people. Grammar is relative. Relativity stretched until the point of snapping. Releasing the finger is as dangerous as stretching it further.

Q. 2 c) What are the advantages of freezing time?

Answer: The advantages of freezing time are as follows –

1. Every major incident in one’s life can be frozen, captured and documented by using database management system.

2. Beauty that surrounds you in every form can be touched without you being stamped a pervert. Sense of touch is one of the five senses of a human along with sight, smell, taste and hearing.

3. Thought can be stopped. The clutter of waves hitting each other making that tingling sound which gives you a brain freeze can be avoided. Serenity.

I have only 7 internal marks. I need 43 to pass.


PS: I hate begging bit it’s a critical subject please do understand.

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