Thursday, February 09, 2006


NICE GUY: i realized somethin recently. it is da fact tat i am a real nice guy. it sucks bein one coz no matter how hard i try not 2 be its like its hard wired in ma system. da problem wit bein a nice guy is tat u bleed wen people ask u 2 but at da end of da day u got no one at ur side wen u r all bled out. its like a piece of sugarcane. everone wants 2 jus squeeze so fuckin hard tat u start bleedin from ur eyes. tey won't leave an ounce of blood tey want it all but drop the rest 4 da maggets 2 relish on. nobody seems 2 even notice coz tey say its normal. some people jus take it 2 da nxt level. in one way da people who leave u 2 die after u have bled out ur soul r much better than da people who skin u out show u dreams so beautiful u thnk u r in heaven ten out of no where u feel da searin pain in ur back n u see a blade stickin out of ur chest after tat tey wil decapitate u n take ur head as a trophy. after all tis tey say hope i didn't hurt u. wat shud i thnk wit da pea sized brain i got. shud i stop bein a good guy, i can't coz i wanna be true 2 myself. shud i stop meetin new ppl now tats a solution. 2 thnk abt it y do i need new ppl i got enuf ppl around. i got responsibilies hangin over my head like a million razor edged swords. the most important thing is i stopped livin 4 myself a long time ago. y shud i start livin 4 myself now. its not rite. it was like i was born dead. i always wanted 2 die so wen i am dead inside y shud i thnk of livin now? its a bad idea real bad.
 
meditation
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